YOU AND THEM

OK, make sure it is that way round from Day 1. YOU comes first. Let`s be clear though. Their father loves them more than he loves you, however much he protests. They came first, they are flesh of his flesh and all that crap. He loves them not equally with you but far far more than. He always will and if you think y0u can change that, don`t even go there. You can`t. No, your plans have to be on quite another front.
He may love them more but to make up for that be sure that he gives you more..more of everything else. Money. Attention. Clothes. Outings. Holidays. Space. Time. You deserve it. You took on - or half took on-his brats didn`t you ?
They know he loves them more than he loves you, no matter what he says. They`re on sure ground here.
But what about you ? Do they know if you love them or not ? Depends how old they are of course. I`m not talking tinies here. Tinies can`t help themselves. No, it is the over 9s I mean. I married into my stepchildren when they were 9, 11 and 14. They sure could help themselves but they sure didn`t know about me and I make sure I keep it that way. Be an unknown quantity. Keep them guessing.
One day, take them out, buy them what they want to eat and not what their parents say they should have - which means Macdonalds, Macdonalds, Macdonalds every time and anything containing fruit and veg is a no-no. Be sweet to them. Lull them into a false sense of security. Stuff with them all the sweets they ask for afterwards.
They might just believe you like them after all.
They have a nasty shock coming don`t they ?
Haven`t they heard of Gingerbread houses lost in deep, dark forests ?
You have. You know what tomorrow will bring. But they don`t. You get them to trust you first. Notice I emphatically did NOT say 'love', or even 'like'. But their trust is the most useful thing a Wicked Stepmother can acquire. Exploit it while it lasts.